I am Jack's Smirking Revenge

little, yappy dogs

Sunday, October 02, 2005

DOOM to the AUTO RENEW nation

cut quickly to the scene in the B-grade action movie where, with great relish, the villain is killed in a very, very violent and slow-motion way. often quite redundantly- head cut off as vehicle explodes; falls from skyscraper to certain doom, only to land in quisinart, guts squirting out across nearby billboard; ad nauseum. [a wink to Matt here]


This is the very doom a certain aspect of modern business deserves.

Somehow, yearlong contracts are a standard with so many things we use and deal with.

And somehow, buried conviniently way in the legalese of the 20-page EULA that comes with every pack of gum these days is a clause wherein, upon finishing the pack of gum, you will be rebilled for a new pack of gum each week until you cancel, but only if you cancel a week in advance, and whilst in good standing, and only if there is a little finch perched on your derby, blah blah blah.

For every good lawyer there is one who needs a wooden stake driven through their heart. At the end of the b-movie. with explosions and quisinarts.

Ah, yes. So, back to the matter at hand.

SURE, they tell you all about the 'renewal' business, sometimes openly, sometimes muttered under a cough. AND THEN A WHOLE FREAKING YEAR GOES BY. I have had this happen to me many times: a charge for something I have NEVER heard of appears on my credit card bill. I spend half an hour to finally discover that, oh, that service I signed up for and hardly used and forgot about just auto-renewed itself.

[ insert temper tantrum here]

Do we already not have enough random bullshit to handle in life without this?

I am sorry, I know I am supposed to tend to each little thing in the world- by the way, did you call and remind so-and-so about that one thing they wanted? good- but when you can't get any kind of service out of anyone anymore without it auto-renewing on you, well, that's more of a burden than ought to be allowed.

Doom to you, auto-renew.

Horrible, splattery DOOM. [a wink to Zim here]


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