I am Jack's Smirking Revenge

little, yappy dogs

Thursday, July 26, 2007

When in Rome

Once upon a time, an Oregonian moved to Los Angeles.

The very first thing he noticed was how fast and agressive people were on the roads. They went far over the speed limit, they tailgated, honked at each other, got angry and shook their fists, shouted out their windows, among other things.

Conferring with a friend, he found he was excpected to learn to drive like an insane person, too.

"When in Rome," began the friend.

So the Oregonian sped up, and tailgated, and learned to honk and be a general asshole on the road. Soon the Californians couldn't tell he was from Oregon any more.

The moral of this story is not for the Oregonians. It is for the Californians, New Yorkers, and all other holier-than-thous who move here, to Oregon, and complain about how slow and stupid everyone drives.

Your tailgating, your horns, your speeding, your bad habits aren't welcome here.

When in Rome applies to you, too.

Now, start trying to act like an Oregonian, and slow down, disconnect your horn, and maybe just hit yourself in the head with a hammer a few times whenever you need to drive.


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