I am Jack's Smirking Revenge

little, yappy dogs

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Zug dot com

So I was just clicking around on the intarweb, when I discover something fairly interesting on a favorite site of mine, cockeyed.com ...

The last Super Bowl followed shortly after the "terror" scare presented to the retarded city of Chicago by battery powered cartoon lite-bright images, and thus, the security was ramped up to ensure that no such lite bright bombs were smuggled in and made to threaten the populace with their awful, blinky cheeriness.

But that is just what someone did.

The time-honored tradition of the fans in the stands holding up cards to form an image would, this year, be replaced by fans being tricked into forming a secret message by wearing lights, which they were lead to believe spelled out "Prince"- he was the half time entertainment.

What these poor innocent civilians didn't know about was the cruel terrorist action which would soon have them glittering the letters "ZUG.COM" during halftime.

The people involved: had no permission.

The event was clearly well funded (probably by Al Qaeda).

The 100 boxes of lights were brought in the day of the game by people barely passing as event staff with fake credentials and they were not on any 'list' which would allow them to pull this prank. They logistically ran the gates and crashed the biggest stupid sports event of the year, duping several branches of security as well as rent-a-cops and concessions stand workers. Nobody figured out the prank...

And the major media never reported the story.

So you'll never know how all that flashy talk about 'increased security' at the super bowl was a crock of shit, and you'll never question whether this government is ever-present, ever-powerful, has your safety in mind, and is watching over you while you sleep.

Thanks, Zug.com, for showing us the truth (that the major media companies need to be taken around back of the barn and put out of their misery). Also, thanks for a mostly funny prank. I'd have made it spell out "cat poo" or something equally nonsensical and childish, to go right along with driving thousands of miles and paying thousands of dollars to watch grown men chase after a ball.

Here's the link to the full story: http://one.revver.com/watch/201296

Thursday, July 26, 2007

When in Rome

Once upon a time, an Oregonian moved to Los Angeles.

The very first thing he noticed was how fast and agressive people were on the roads. They went far over the speed limit, they tailgated, honked at each other, got angry and shook their fists, shouted out their windows, among other things.

Conferring with a friend, he found he was excpected to learn to drive like an insane person, too.

"When in Rome," began the friend.

So the Oregonian sped up, and tailgated, and learned to honk and be a general asshole on the road. Soon the Californians couldn't tell he was from Oregon any more.

The moral of this story is not for the Oregonians. It is for the Californians, New Yorkers, and all other holier-than-thous who move here, to Oregon, and complain about how slow and stupid everyone drives.

Your tailgating, your horns, your speeding, your bad habits aren't welcome here.

When in Rome applies to you, too.

Now, start trying to act like an Oregonian, and slow down, disconnect your horn, and maybe just hit yourself in the head with a hammer a few times whenever you need to drive.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

"Executive Order"

Dear George W. Bush:

Kiss my ass.



ps: as if the government needs any more free license, GWB has granted himself even more power in his recent "Executive Order: Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq", announced 7/17/07.


How will he use it to further abuse and denigrate the citizens of this fine planet? We've yet to see.